Kopula

Folk spilder deres tid på at skrive de særeste ting, og jeg spilder min tid på at læse dem. Den sidste af den slags skud på stammen er en FAQ om den tyske folkesanger Heino, som ifølge forfatterne skulle have Heinos personlige godkendelse. Det ser også ud til at det er nogle danskere som har begået dette tåbelige skrift.
Markeringerne nedenfor er mine egne

The Heino FAQ version 1.0
- everything you always wanted to know about Heino but were afraid to ask…

1. Who is Heino?
   Heino is the most successful German folk (Volksmusik) singer of all times. His characteristics are the blond hair, the omnipresent dark shades and the clear, baritone singing voice. He has sold more than 30 million records in the last 30 years and has become one of the most beloved and famous persons in the German speaking part of the world (98% of all Germans know him which is only surpassed by Bundeskansler Helmut Kohl’s 99%). He was born on December 13th 1938 in Düsseldorf-Oberbilk, Germany and given the name Heinz Georg Kramm. Early on his mother and sister (his father died in WW2) gave him the nickname “Heino”.
2. How did he get started as a singer?
   Though Heino is a fully trained baker and confectioner singing had his full attention early on. While serving his apprenticeship, he started playing the accordion. Quickly he caught up with the singing and had his stage debut in 1955. Having ended his education in 1960, he decided to make a living out of singing. In 1965 Heino was discovered by the agent Ralf Bendix (Dr. Karl-Heinz Schwab), and the debut single “Jenseits des Tales” sold more than 100.000 copies. His second single “Wenn die bunten Fahnen weh’n” earned gold.
3. What are his career highlights?
   Heino’s carreer is slowly coming to an end, but the highlights are manifold. In 1968 he played his first U.S. concert, and he has returned many times. Beside the U.S. he has toured Canada and Australia, giving emigrated Germans a piece of “native soil”. His jubilee album of 1975, “Heino – seine Großen Erfolge” sold 1.5 million copies. On March 18th. 1990 he played his first concert in the earlier DDR (East Germany) in Dresden. 150.000 people attended this first concert of the tour, which became a true triumphal procession.
4. Is Heino married?
   Yes! Heino is married to the lovely Hannelore (pictures elsewhere), with whom he often performs (in 1984 they even recorded the album “Die Liebe ist das Gold des Lebens” together as a duo). According to Heino they got together as a result of at least 36 fictional stories in “Bild” – they were supposed to have an affair, and in the end they started believing it was true. The 37th story was about their wedding. Hannelore is a divorced noblewoman (Princess of Auersperg), and in the beginning her fashionable Kitzbühl-friends wouldn’t accept him. But Heino simply started singing, and all of a sudden they were family. Today they all love him. Hannelore is the practical person, taking care of everything from contracts to Heino’s wardrobe (he admits that without her, he would look like a clown). Heino has a son (Uwe who’s in his thirties) from an earlier marriage.
5. What kind of woman turns Heino on?
   The perfectly normal type, who could be a secretary. By the way, homosexuality gives Heino the creeps.
6. Where does he live?
   Heino has two homes, one in Bad Münstereifel (close to Köln/Cologne in Nordrhein-Westfalen) and according to “Der Spiegel” a tax haven in Switzerland. To get in contact with him or his manager, try visiting or writing to:
   HEINO Künstler-Büro
   Postfach 1270
   D-53869 Bad Münstereifel
   Fax: 02253 – 62 47
   Buero@HEINO-online.de
   Germany
   Bad Münstereifel is also the place where you can visit the “Heino Rathaus-Café” (opened 06/21/1996). The Haselnuß cake is recommended, and Heino’s sister works at the cafe about once a week.
7. What does he do on a normal day?
   On a perfectly normal day, Heino likes to go to bed early, turn on the TV and watch football (soccer). There are no reports of what his favourite team might be, but the song “Eine Träne von ihr” on the album “Einer von uns” is about how to get along in a relationship, when the man is a fan of Dortmund and the woman prefers Schalke 04. If Heino can’t catch a football game, he then likes to watch 5-6 movies in a row. His favourite actor is Clint Eastwood (the one guy Heino would swap looks with), and if a movie doesn’t have a happy end, Heino might just cry a little.
8. Does Heino believe in God?
   Heino is an orthodox Catholic who prays every day. He even goes to church every sunday, because, like he says, it’s a short visit on earth for all of us. Heino doesn’t rule out the thought of reincarnation.
9. Was Heino ever on Letterman?
   In a way, yes. He was featured in a joke on the show in the late 90s. First they showed a 10 second clip of Heino parading along some Bavarian country road with a bunch of Lederhosen-wearing guys stomping along behind him, chanting “Heute singen wir mit Heino, Heute singen wir mit Heino…”. And then, David Letterman commented the clip: “Today we sing with Heino, tomorrow we conquer the world”. It is also reported, that once when Letterman played bits of different funny albums, he held up a Heino record and said something like, “Look, kids! It’s the new Heino record!” and played a bit from “Tom Dooley.”